Monday, 30 May 2016

When Your Relationship Needs A Boost

page of cups tarot of quotes
Tarot of Quotes
"A relationship is a three-part journey: First there's infatuation. Then there's conflict – the part where most people jump ship. The third part is becoming an active participant in your partner's feelings, and that's the method to the madness."
- Alanis Morissette

This is one of my favourite quotes about how relationships work, and it is true that many people go their separate ways during the conflict phase.

Conflict doesn't necessarily mean heated arguments and slamming doors. Quite the opposite.

It is usually smouldering resentment towards the other's annoying habits and personality traits that drives couples apart.

Things are no longer the same as they were during the honeymoon period.

Complacency sets in. Masks begin to crumble.

Less quality time spent together due to work and other commitments. Your partner's irritability and lack of cooking skills annoys you. Less romance, less fun...perhaps no romance or fun at all...

Now is a good time to take stock and make amends.

The honeymoon period always ends, but there is much that can be done to keep the spark alive and move onwards to stage three. 

Although you are aware of the obvious reasons why you are not as happy together as you used to be, you can explore what is going on in your relationship on a deeper, unconscious level. 

Here is a five-card spread you can try:

1. What is the underlying current energy of the relationship?
2. What needs to be addressed?
3. What is going well?
4. What is being neglected?
5. What will improve the relationship?

when your relationship needs a boost
Cosmic Journaling Oracle
I have used the Cosmic Journaling Oracle for the sample reading:

1. Journey

There is a sense of longevity and unfulfilled potential. Look back and see how far you have come. Have you been on an eventful journey together? Did you have to deal with external challenges that put you both under stress?

You may now realise that you have encountered some bumps and steep hills along the road, and now it is time to focus more on enjoyable and exciting adventures that are still to come. Make some plans and make it happen.

2. Intention

This card suggests making plans, having a goal or simply paying more attention to each other's needs. Intention also means focus, making a conscious choice and seeing it through. However, it can also mean that intentions haven't been kept.

Perhaps a holiday was cancelled or you didn't go for that romantic meal after all. Even worse, your other half has started smoking again... Look at what you intended to do and why it didn't happen. Is there a pattern that needs to be broken? Talk about it.

3. Sensitivity

Sensitivity as a strength in a relationship offers the gift of empathy and mutual understanding. There is a keen awareness of how the other is feeling, but it is also important to open up and express your own feelings.

Sensitivity in this position may also suggest that your senses are not letting you down. Trust them, especially when you 'sense' that something isn't quite right and needs to be addressed.

Sensitivity may also remind you to choose your words and actions wisely and carefully in order to avoid unnecessary drama including hurt, anger and defensiveness.

4. Renewal

When renewal is being neglected, it suggests resistance to making changes, perhaps even denying responsibility. There are obstacles preventing you from moving forward, which may include challenging behavioural traits or external challenges like work or family commitments.

How can you encourage renewal in your relationship, so it can evolve? An additional question to ask the oracle!

5. Trust

If trust is an issue in your relationship, you will need to address it in order to make positive changes. You need to explore if your trust issues are justified or based on past experience or irrational worries.

This can also be an issue for your partner, who may not yet feel secure in your relationship.

The best way to build trust is by being totally reliable, open and honest. When you begin to realise that you can count on the other no matter what, this will be a huge step for you in the right direction.

Think about how you can improve mutual trust in your relationship. If you need some inspiration, pull another card.

I hope you will find this spread helpful, either for yourself or a person you are reading for. Please do let me know, how it's worked for you. 

If you would like me to do this reading for you, please choose the 5-card reading option on my Tarot Readings by Email page.

The Cosmic Journaling Oracle is also available as a digital edition with a 30% discount on the printed copy of the deck.

Warmest wishes,


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