Saturday, 19 April 2014

The Other Woman

the other woman
Sharman-Caselli Tarot Deck
(c) St. Martin's Press 2002
For most people, having a relationship with a married person isn't a choice but an unfortunate accident.

They fall in love with someone, who hasn't been truthful about their legal status at first, but they are "too far gone" to pull out without facing the emotional pain of a breakup.

Or they knew right from the start, but embarked on the doomed affair thinking they'd met the love of their life rather than thinking straight.

Women especially can get entangled in such a relationship, hoping it will go somewhere.

And when all they get are a few hours a week of rushed love for months on end, they begin to wonder, if this will ever change.

At that point, I receive reading requests: "Will he leave his wife for me?" or "When will he leave his wife for me?"

Before you spend money on a reading, here is a helpful statistic for you:

95% of men, who have an affair, won't leave their wives.

Are you hoping to be one of the lucky 5%?

Sure, we often hear stories about men running off with the mistress only to return to their wives a few months later.


Because once the secret of the affair has been revealed, the thrill tends to fade and men become disillusioned with their once so exciting lover-on-the-side.

Perhaps he's been telling you that he wants to leave his wife, or he keeps talking about his marital problems and issues, which may lead you to think that you have a good chance.

I'd hate to break it to you, but no. No chance. Unless he has made concrete plans about leaving his marriage behind, he will only use you as an exciting distraction from his otherwise mundane life.

Especially when there are children involved, it will be even less likely he'll leave his family. And if he does, beware! He could easily do the same to you at one point in the future.

If you make the conscious choice about having a relationship with a married man, you need to let go of any illusion that he will leave his wife.

You need to accept that he can only spend a few hours a week with you, sometimes even less. He could dump you at any time, especially when he feels under pressure or he's getting bored of you.

If he is a decent man, who knows his responsibilities, his family will always come first, and you will come last.

There is unlikely to be happy-ever-after with this relationship. Be prepared for that.

Perhaps you are at a point, where you feel alone and desperate. Then now is a good time to reconnect with your friends and rebuild your own social life.

You may have been at your lover's beck and call, which over time will have put you in a position of isolation and powerlessness.

It's time to regain your power.

Now is the time to detach yourself from your lover and do your own thing. When he asks to see you for a few hours, say "no" and arrange to meet up with friends instead.

Start to learn to be more independent again.

Get your life back.

Tell your lover to go and fix his marriage. He shouldn't leave his marriage for you but for the fact that his marriage can no longer be fixed, but he's put all his effort into saving it. It can be tough getting accused of being a home wrecker.

Ok, would you still like to explore your options with an email reading? With a 3-card reading we can explore
  1. current energies surrounding your relationship 
  2. what you can do to get this relationship moving (one way or the other)
  3. overall staying power of this relationship (outlook)
Depending on your individual circumstances, I can adjust this reading to give you best possible guidance.

Hey girlfriend, let's sort this mess out once and for all!

Warmest wishes,


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Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Anger Is Good For You

the tower aquatic tarot
It's okay to hit the roof, as long as
you don't set someone's house on fire
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. It tends to be regarded as negative, because it is mostly associated with its extreme forms: rage, bullying, violence and destruction.

In Astrology, anger is associated with Mars, and in the Tarot, Mars is linked to the Tower. The forces we see in this card are destructive, an outburst of energy.

We are all taught from an early age that anger is bad, and we need to suppress it.

True, we don't want this powerful energy to get out of hand, but learning instead how make use of it more constructively can be liberating and life-transforming in a positive way.

Anger is actually good for you, when it takes you from a position of powerlessness to empowerment.

When you say "enough is enough".

When you are stuck in sadness or depression, feeling angry about what caused your situation can pull you out of your black hole.

When it feels better to be mad than sad, you begin to stand up for yourself, speak up and fight back.

Anger initiates change.

When you have to cope with loss or bereavement, you will feel anger at one point during that process. It will help you move forward.

It is important to release anger, but not by killing people or destroying their property, but in a more creative and healing way.

The Martian energies, including anger, are also present in Minor Arcana cards linked to Mars. They can teach us a lot about anger, its causes and consequences as well as how we can turn it into a positive force.

two of wands tarot
Two of Wands - Mars in Aries

We don't see any anger in this card, but it may encourage you to use your anger as fuel towards a new beginning. Looking to the future, making plans, nurturing your aspirations and setting new goals.

Perhaps you have just lost your job, you are angry about how you have been treated. Use your anger to find a better job, work for the competition and become more successful.

nine of swords tarot
Nine of Swords - Mars in Gemini

See what anger does to you when you don't let it out? The urge to release anger is often suppressed by fear. Fear of punishment, of hurting others, of feeling guilty.

Fear causes suffering. There is a sense of feeling powerless in this image. The Nine of Swords is asking us to shift those limiting beliefs of reluctance and inhibitions through communication.

When your situation is desperate, and there is no improvement in sight ("I can't do this"), anger can help to overcome fear (shift towards empowerment) and can cause quite a revolution. The longer anger is suppressed, the worse the consequences will be when released.

seven of wands tarot
Seven of Wands - Mars in Leo

We see a lot of physical energy in this card - there is a sense of high adrenaline, stress, frantically defending or working on something. We can also see determination and persistence (perhaps even obsession), but how long can this man keep going?

Anger can be released by taking action, through physical exercise and practising self-care. Running, gym sessions, dancing....any exercise you feel passionate about.

Releasing anger through physical activity can lead to emotional and mental recovery.

five of cups tarot
Five of Cups - Mars in Scorpio

Sadness, disappointment, loss. You cannot get passed those debilitating emotions without a spark of anger.

Without crying, ranting, screaming or writing soppy poetry to express your anger about someone, who hurt you, you cannot move forward and cross that bridge in the distance towards a happier life.

Rather than directing your anger towards others (including the guilty party), express your uncensored thoughts and feelings in a journal or artwork, such as sculpting or painting.

three of pentacles tarot
Three of Pentacles - Mars in Capricorn

No hint of anger in this image, but the Martian energies may encourage teamwork and collaboration. Don't be angry on your own. Get together with like-minded souls, who are equally unhappy about a situation.

In a group, you can work on making changes for the better. Think of trade unions, animal rights and environmental organisations, where you can channel your anger about unacceptable conditions into a transformative force.

ten of cups tarot
Ten of Cups - Mars in Pisces

Such a happy image, and yet the Martian energies are simmering beneath the surface, ensuring that happiness won't last forever.

The message of the Ten of Cups regarding anger is to develop a healthy relationship to feeling and releasing it.

Only suppressed anger leads to long-term resentment and bitterness. In a relationship, it is important to express your anger without fear or guilt, rather than pretending everything is fine.

Releasing anger in a constructive way can actually improve a relationship, and yes, it could break it, too, but then perhaps that would also be for the best.

Forming a healthy relationship with anger, embracing it rather than demonising it, is a powerful life skill helping you to grow, heal and transform in a positive way.

How is the Tarot helping you to release, express and heal your anger?

Warmest wishes,


PS: Interested in learning to combine tarot with astrology? Then check out my Starlight Tarot Astrology course...

Starlight Tarot Astrology Course
Transform your life this year:

Tarot Readings - Insightful guidance when you need it
Learn Tarot - A magickal, inspirational tool for life.
Tarot eBooks - Great value, innovative Tarot study and creative journaling material

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