Saturday, 19 May 2012

Do You Compare and Despair?

How often do you compare yourself with others? And how often does that make you feel down and insecure?

If you are a budding artist, writer or entrepreneur, or you are working hard building a rewarding career in any other discipline, you will always come across people, who are further ahead than you.

They may already be in a position where you want to be. They seem to be more popular, or perhaps they make more money than you.

Whilst you're working your socks off to make a living, they seem to have accomplished that level of security and success that you are yearning for.

And whilst you keep comparing yourself and start to despair about your imagined inadequacies, the gap between your current position and your goal will become larger as your confidence and self-esteem gradually go down the drain.

So now is a good time to change the way you think, and here are some tips on how to do it: 
  • There will always be people more successful than you. Some may even seem more talented. Get over it! That doesn't mean there isn't a place for you in Successville. Nobody is better than you, just DIFFERENT. Find your own niche based on your strengths and skills and create something unique in your own style. 
  • Learn from the people you admire. Study their work and how they operate; along the way you will discover some "tricks of the trade" you may not have thought of before. 
  • Network, communicate and build relationships with like-minded people including those you admire. Always give kindness, respect and support. You will find that this will be given to you in return. 
  • Admire and be INSPIRED. Never imitate other people's work or personalities. You are unique, and you have something special to offer to the world. Develop your own ideas, style and personality. 
  • Be true to yourself. Don't let others stop you from following your dream. In the end, you have to live with the decisions you make, not them. Surround yourself with people, who encourage and support you. 
  • Be grateful for constructive criticism; you will learn from it, and it will help you progress. 
  • There's no such thing as failure as long as you keep going and love what you do. Always be open to new ideas, new directions and new possibilities. 
  • Use a mantra or affirmation to switch your negative self-image into a positive one. Stop saying “I’ll never be as good as her” and say instead: “I am good at what I do, and I’m learning and getting better every day.” Keep repeating the positive self-talk and you will begin to recognise your worth.
Remember, you can choose what to think, so focus on thoughts that increase your self-esteem and make you feel empowered.

By simply being aware of your thoughts and knowing you can alter them already empowers you to control their quality.

Here are some ways to help you increase your self-esteem and escape the compare-and-despair-trap:

1. Make a list about your characteristics, strengths, talents, skills, gifts and abilities and how you utilise them. What actions do you take to demonstrate your qualities?

2. Write down what you love and admire about yourself.

3. Create your mantras and affirmations to remind you of your power (pull some Tarot or oracle cards for inspiration).

4. When you feel negative about yourself, what could you do to help you feel better?

5. Think of activities you enjoy, people and pets who makes you happy, places you love… and anything else that brings a smile on your face – make a list of all those positive things around you and you start shifting your focus on the good stuff going on in your life.

Regular positive self-evaluation will help you strengthen and maintain a healthy level of self-esteem. 

Write it all down. Record it in your journal.You can start right now to be the author of your life!

Warmest wishes,


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