Saturday, 16 July 2016

After The Breakup - Is My Ex Happy?

six of swords tarot of quotes
Letting go and moving on
is all in the mind.
If I said no, would that make you happy?

If I said yes, would that hurt you?

This is one of the few questions I refuse to answer as a professional Tarot reader, because I don't feel that answering it would be of any value to you.

Firstly, you are asking about someone else, rather than paying more attention to yourself and your well-being.

Secondly, the answer is limited to yes or no

Thirdly, I can feel your pain of your separation from your ex, and by supporting your obsession with him or her by answering this question, I won't help you heal and move on.

I don't want to earn money this way. Instead, I am giving you my answer here, free of charge.

When someone asks me this question, it is unlikely they ask about their ex from the goodness of their heart.

When a relationship breakup still feels raw and painful, all you wish for is for the other to feel the same.

In fact, if you got dumped, or you finally freed yourself from a narcissist, all you can think of is cursing that individual and send all the ill will you can muster up their way.

But there is a more powerful and healing alternative: 

Learn to not give a shit about that person.

Don't care.

Learn to be indifferent.

Ignore them. No contact. Focus entirely on yourself and your recovery and healing.

This is a process, and you need to focus all your determination on this. 

While you are working on your personal growth, enjoying life and prepare yourself for new opportunities, consider my two answers to your question.

Is my ex happy?

1. Yes

He or she may have left you for someone else, so s/he will be elated. They will probably have great sex, and they may even get married and have kids. Happy-ever-after. 

Accept it. Get over it.

Would this answer make you feel any better? Probably not, so why keep torturing yourself?

It is now down to you to follow your own dreams and aspirations, to make the most of your life without forever pining for what you have lost. 

Your future is ahead, and you can choose, if your journey is miserable or fun.

2. No

They are as miserable and depressed as you are. They have had nothing but bad luck since your relationship ended. They now have doubts and wish they could get back together with you. 

Would this kind of answer encourage you to get in touch with them again? 

The last thing you want is a boomerang relationship that will prolong the agony over months, perhaps even years ahead.


Here's what you can do instead:

  • When it's over, accept it's over.
  • Rather than following your emotions, explore why your relationship didn't work out. There are some good reasons for it. Don't ignore them, and learn your lessons, so you won't make the same mistake again.
  • Engage into some serious self-care. Book yourself on a course, do yoga classes, re-connect with friends, rebuild your life.
  • Keep focusing your thoughts on yourself, and be committed to your well-being. Avoid any kind of drama, e.g. confrontations, stalking, trying to get answers, closure, etc. Just let go.
  • Embrace change. You can download my manifesting change healing cards for free.
  • Get creative - read, write, paint, craft. Get together with like-minded souls to learn and experience new skills.
  • Always remember the bad times you had with your ex, which were a reason you split up. 
  • Don't initiate any contact with your ex, and try not to fall for their soppy messages of remorse. Your mind is telling you that it's all a load of b**locks. Heed its advice and stay strong.

Most of all, don't obsess over your ex. Don't torture yourself with painful questions about their whereabouts or happiness. It's no longer your concern. 

You are the most important person in your life right now, together with family and friends, who are close and support you.

Trust that you will feel better soon, and you can heal and rebuild your life. 

Warmest wishes,

Christiane



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