Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Anger Is Good For You

the tower aquatic tarot
It's okay to hit the roof, as long as
you don't set someone's house on fire
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. It tends to be regarded as negative, because it is mostly associated with its extreme forms: rage, bullying, violence and destruction.

In Astrology, anger is associated with Mars, and in the Tarot, Mars is linked to the Tower. The forces we see in this card are destructive, an outburst of energy.

We are all taught from an early age that anger is bad, and we need to suppress it.

True, we don't want this powerful energy to get out of hand, but learning instead how make use of it more constructively can be liberating and life-transforming in a positive way.

Anger is actually good for you, when it takes you from a position of powerlessness to empowerment.

When you say "enough is enough".

When you are stuck in sadness or depression, feeling angry about what caused your situation can pull you out of your black hole.

When it feels better to be mad than sad, you begin to stand up for yourself, speak up and fight back.

Anger initiates change.

When you have to cope with loss or bereavement, you will feel anger at one point during that process. It will help you move forward.

It is important to release anger, but not by killing people or destroying their property, but in a more creative and healing way.

The Martian energies, including anger, are also present in Minor Arcana cards linked to Mars. They can teach us a lot about anger, its causes and consequences as well as how we can turn it into a positive force.

two of wands tarot
Two of Wands - Mars in Aries

We don't see any anger in this card, but it may encourage you to use your anger as fuel towards a new beginning. Looking to the future, making plans, nurturing your aspirations and setting new goals.

Perhaps you have just lost your job, you are angry about how you have been treated. Use your anger to find a better job, work for the competition and become more successful.


nine of swords tarot
Nine of Swords - Mars in Gemini

See what anger does to you when you don't let it out? The urge to release anger is often suppressed by fear. Fear of punishment, of hurting others, of feeling guilty.

Fear causes suffering. There is a sense of feeling powerless in this image. The Nine of Swords is asking us to shift those limiting beliefs of reluctance and inhibitions through communication.

When your situation is desperate, and there is no improvement in sight ("I can't do this"), anger can help to overcome fear (shift towards empowerment) and can cause quite a revolution. The longer anger is suppressed, the worse the consequences will be when released.


seven of wands tarot
Seven of Wands - Mars in Leo

We see a lot of physical energy in this card - there is a sense of high adrenaline, stress, frantically defending or working on something. We can also see determination and persistence (perhaps even obsession), but how long can this man keep going?

Anger can be released by taking action, through physical exercise and practising self-care. Running, gym sessions, dancing....any exercise you feel passionate about.

Releasing anger through physical activity can lead to emotional and mental recovery.


five of cups tarot
Five of Cups - Mars in Scorpio

Sadness, disappointment, loss. You cannot get passed those debilitating emotions without a spark of anger.

Without crying, ranting, screaming or writing soppy poetry to express your anger about someone, who hurt you, you cannot move forward and cross that bridge in the distance towards a happier life.

Rather than directing your anger towards others (including the guilty party), express your uncensored thoughts and feelings in a journal or artwork, such as sculpting or painting.

three of pentacles tarot
Three of Pentacles - Mars in Capricorn

No hint of anger in this image, but the Martian energies may encourage teamwork and collaboration. Don't be angry on your own. Get together with like-minded souls, who are equally unhappy about a situation.

In a group, you can work on making changes for the better. Think of trade unions, animal rights and environmental organisations, where you can channel your anger about unacceptable conditions into a transformative force.


ten of cups tarot
Ten of Cups - Mars in Pisces

Such a happy image, and yet the Martian energies are simmering beneath the surface, ensuring that happiness won't last forever.

The message of the Ten of Cups regarding anger is to develop a healthy relationship to feeling and releasing it.

Only suppressed anger leads to long-term resentment and bitterness. In a relationship, it is important to express your anger without fear or guilt, rather than pretending everything is fine.

Releasing anger in a constructive way can actually improve a relationship, and yes, it could break it, too, but then perhaps that would also be for the best.

Forming a healthy relationship with anger, embracing it rather than demonising it, is a powerful life skill helping you to grow, heal and transform in a positive way.

How is the Tarot helping you to release, express and heal your anger?

Warmest wishes,

Christiane



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Sunday, 16 March 2014

Will He Come Back To Me?

hanged man housewives tarot
Don't hang about when he's gone,
you've got better things to do.
Housewives Tarot
(c) Paul Kepple & Jude Buffum
Okay, girlfriend, so he dumped you, and you're devastated. You're in a bit of a shock and wonder, if this has really happened.

Surely, he must still love you and soon will regret his silly action of just walking out on you.

Surely, he will change his mind and come creeping back begging for forgiveness.

Let me tell you this, girlfriend:

In your dreams!

You really must be cruel to be kind to yourself and answer this question with a cutting but ultimately liberating

NO

He's gone.

Gone forever, and he won't return. Ever.

No need to ask for a Tarot reading to answer this question. 

Today is the first day of the rest of your life without him.

Accept that, girlfriend, and soon you'll realise it's for the best.

And please, don't beg him to stay or come back. That's so unattractive and won't do your self-worth any good.

Why on earth would you want someone back, who hurt you this much anyway?

Yes, of course, I know: you still love him (or perhaps just the idea of him?). And it's so hard to let go of that love. So hard to face and embrace that pain of loss. It takes inner strength, perseverance, tears, some good friends and lots of self-care to do that.

Won't happen quickly, but believe me, girlfriend: you can do it!

That's what you need to focus on rather than wondering, if he'll come back to you. Otherwise, time will stand still for you. You will put your life on hold whilst waiting and hoping he'll be back one day.

Face it now: he's gone.

But what, if the answer was YES? Would that make you feel happy and you'd gladly wait for him to return? Would you really want him back as if nothing had happened? Think about this for a moment...

Yes, on rare occasions they do come back, but often for reasons other than unconditional love for you. He may come back because:
  • he is insecure
  • has low self-esteem
  • he needs you to make him feel good about himself
  • another relationship didn't work out
  • he'd rather be with anyone than being alone, and he knows you still want him
  • unresolved emotional issues
  • he just wants to be friends (often with benefits)
  • he doesn't really know what he wants (and may soon be off again)
And on the even rarer occasion, he will have realised he's made a terrible mistake and will want to return for good. Yes, sometimes this happens.

But will this warmed-up relationship be blessed with happy-ever-after or cursed with lingering tension and trust issues?

So, if he does turn up on your doorstep again, here are some really interesting questions you could ask the Tarot:

1. What is in it for me?
2. What will I gain?
3. What will I lose?
4. How will taking him back affect my life?
5. How will rejecting him affect my life?

And of course, don't forget to communicate directly and ask him straight, why the hell he's come back, and what are his lame excuses for leaving you in the first place, and what has changed his mind.

Evaluate his answers carefully. You can even use the Tarot to validate them and explore his true intentions.

And before you rush in determined to make the same mistake twice, give it time. Re-connect as friends only. See, if what he said and promised to win you over, he is putting into action.

Once broken, trust is hard to rebuild. A walk-out always causes damage to a relationship even with the best intentions to repair it when reunited. It doesn't always work. You need to be aware of that.

To summarise, will he come back to you? No.

Don't hang on to false hope putting your life on hold. Focus on getting over it and on with your life. So many new opportunities for you out there in good time.

But if he does come back, do get in touch, and we can explore your options together.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane 


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Sunday, 9 March 2014

A Message from the Nine of Wands

nine of wands
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good.”
Elizabeth Edwards



“My scars remind me that I did indeed survive my deepest wounds. That in itself is an accomplishment. And they bring to mind something else, too. They remind me that the damage life has inflicted on me has, in many places, left me stronger and more resilient. What hurt me in the past has actually made me better equipped to face the present.”
Steve Goodier



Affirmation: I draw on my inner strength and wisdom to turn challenges into new opportunities.



For more inspiring quotes and affirmations for each card please check out my ebook Empowering Messages from the Tarot


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Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Never Be Mine

eight of cups
Tarot of Quotes
It’s been a while,
But sometimes I still wonder why
You left from one minute to the next,
When everything seemed fine.

Pursuing me for weeks,
Taking it slowly yet one step closer each time,
You made all the moves and finally won me over,
And I was so happy you were mine.

Or so I thought, silly me.
All your affections, were they just deceptions?
Perhaps you were just curious, enjoyed the chase,
A game to raise your confidence, and I lost the race.

You enjoyed the novelty at first,
Overwhelming me with kindness and attention,
Yet you lost interest whilst still pretending
Not saying a word, feeding your apprehension.


Then it was over, just like that, vague reasons and assumptions,
I didn’t have a chance for another glance.
A self-proclaimed "solitary social toe dipper"
You dipped your toe into my heart, ripping it apart.

Little did you know that once I let someone get close,
I fully commit to the relationship with love and devotion
Not just for six weeks, and not just to dip my toes,
But for the long haul, guided by trust, faith and my emotions.

I’m not cut out to be sampled and played with until I no longer suffice,
For someone to roll the dice, and I have to pay the price.
You ended it with tears and the guise of a caring heart, emotional felony,
You shouldn’t have done that to me.

And here I am, still thinking of you and grieving, but slowly moving on,
Rebuilding my trust and having faith that I won’t fall again for a con.
All the things you gave me put away, tainted memories kept out of sight.
Telling myself you were wrong all along, I choose to embrace new love, magic and light.

And in the meantime I have to accept the irrevocable end, the end of the line,
And the wheel keeps turning,
My heart burning,
Coming to terms with the fact you will never be mine.

Christiane


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Friday, 14 February 2014

Why Did He Leave Me?

why did he leave me
Valentine, Schmalentine.... today isn't a good day, if you've been dumped recently, left a volatile relationship for the sake of preserving your sanity, or you're just sad and lonely, because you haven't found "The One" yet.

Fret not! You're not the only one, and tomorrow you can buy yourself a nice pack of Valentine chocolates at less than half price! Yay!

If you've recently been dumped, you might be asking why, especially when the relationship seemed to be going well.

Getting dumped out of the blue without any clear indication beforehand (you might have missed the warning signs in your romantic loved-up stupor though ;)) and little explanation, you might be looking for answers elsewhere.

Yes, the Tarot can offer you some closure, if the heartbreaker doesn't. Use the Majors only to get an idea, why you were abandoned by the one you love. Shuffle the cards and pick one:

The Fool: This person wanted to have a new adventure.

The Magician: This person was a player and enjoyed the chase.

The High Priestess: This person had secrets and didn't want to be found out.

The Empress: This person thought you were too good for him.

The Emperor: This person felt uncomfortable with your independence. They needed someone to control, and you weren't the right match.

The Hierophant: This person couldn't cope with your liberal and free-spirited lifestyle. Perhaps unlike you, they may also wanted marriage and children.

The Lovers: This person met someone else. It was a tough choice, but you lost out.

The Chariot: This person finds it hard to commit for various reasons. Could also be searching for the perfect love, and you, I'm afraid, are not the one.

Strength: This person left because of inner demons and hang-ups they're constantly fighting.

The Hermit: This person just wants to be alone.

The Wheel of Fortune: Wrong place, bad timing. Changing circumstances and insecurities. No stability.

Justice: This person found it hard to make personal adjustments in the relationship. Also, there may have been legal issues.

The Hanged Man: This person needs to go away and think things through, but is unlikely to come back. May also have thought that the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

Death: This person just doesn't love you any more.

Temperance: This person found it hard to compromise and balance their needs with yours.

The Devil: This person may have felt trapped or stifled in the relationship. It wasn't healthy for them.

The Tower: Hot temper, a short fuse - this person just left on a whim, perhaps with the intention to hurt you. Beware - may come back and apologise, and is likely to do it again in the future.

The Star: This person has outgrown the relationship on a spiritual level.

The Moon: This person is ruled by insecurities, irrational fears and perhaps even paranoia. They wanted to leave, before they get hurt.

The Sun: This person wasn't happy with you for purely selfish reasons.

Judgement: This person just focused on the negative in your relationship whilst not recognising what was going well. They want perfection, which they are unlikely to find. Ever.

The World: Being in a committed relationship just isn't for this person. They love to be free and single without restrictions.

The answers only give an indication and could also relate to you rather than the person who left you. Explore the interpretation of the card you have drawn and how it fits to your failed relationship.

For more detailed insight and clarification, you can also draw two Minor Arcana cards.

And then, put closure on what's happened, so you can move on to find a new and better love in the future.

Whatever the reason why they left you, good riddance to them.You won't be heartbroken forever!

Lots of love to you,

Christiane



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Wednesday, 29 January 2014

Why "No one can make you happy except yourself" is a Lie

the sun tarot of quotes
Tarot of Quotes
In woo world everyone tells you that happiness comes from within.

To a certain extent that is true, but some spiritual gurus go further and proclaim "no one can make you happy except yourself". That's a lie, regardless how much new age waffle they use to try to convince you.

Why else do we enter into relationships and friendships?

We have people in our lives that make us happy - lover/ partner, children, friends etc. They love, inspire and support us.

They lift us up, when we feel down.

With them we enjoy companionship, have a sense of belonging and experience exciting adventures on our life journey together.

Those special people can make us immensely fulfilled and give our life meaning. Why don't we admit that, rather than trying to enforce some pseudo-spiritual self-sufficiency that doesn't agree with human nature?

I admit that some people in my life make me happy, and there is one person, who makes me VERY happy. I'm so happy they are in my life. Without them, my life would be dull and empty, and not the biggest amount of self-love and I-don't-need-anyone-denial would make things better.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not endorsing vampiric co-dependency, and sometimes those, who make us happy set us challenges, too. But our healthy relationships make us happy...deeply. Our lives would be bleaker without them.

People can make you happy. Let them. And you make them happy in return with the love you give. What's wrong with that?

Warmest wishes,

Christiane



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Friday, 10 January 2014

My Word for the Year

word for the year 2014
Coming up with a word for the year to inspire and encourage you over the coming months ahead is a magickal way to help you achieve goals or simply guide you to where you want to be.

I first came across this idea when I started using Leonie Dawson's Year Planner, and this year I'm choosing a word for the first time.

My word is inspired by this year's energy card, the Chariot, which is linked to the element water.

Although it's spiritually meaningful to me, it's also kind of humorous, too.

It's PLUNGE.

There is a nice ring to it. You'll know what I mean when you say it out loud. Linger on the 'n'...plunnnnnge :)

It sounds whole-hearted; better than "plop", which only covers the surface, or "splash", which is just noisy. PLUNGE goes deep and all the way.

This year, I will plunge into the unknown.

I will plunge into faith.

I will plunge into love.

I will plunge into the ocean of change, and let its currents and tides take me where I'm meant to be.

I will plunge into that ocean with my eyes closed trusting my inner knowing that all will be well.

PLUNGE expresses my need to initiate movement, to embrace the unknown, overcome fears, to dare and to accept impermanence.

And then of course PLUNGE makes me laugh. Where would I be without a word that puts a smile on my face?

Perhaps this year I will also plunge into a shopping centre (haven't done that for years), plunge into a nightclub, plunge into a new hobby, plunge into studies, plunge into parties, plunge into a skirt or a dress (haven't worn those for years either).

I'll be taking the plunge for sure. I wonder how often I will use that word this year?

It's certainly a versatile word as Miranda demonstrates:




There you have it. It's PLUNGE for me all the way until 31 December 2014.

What's your word for the year?

Warmest wishes,

Christiane



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