Saturday, 16 July 2016

After The Breakup - Is My Ex Happy?

six of swords tarot of quotes
Letting go and moving on
is all in the mind.
If I said no, would that make you happy?

If I said yes, would that hurt you?

This is one of the few questions I refuse to answer as a professional Tarot reader, because I don't feel that answering it would be of any value to you.

Firstly, you are asking about someone else, rather than paying more attention to yourself and your well-being.

Secondly, the answer is limited to yes or no

Thirdly, I can feel your pain of your separation from your ex, and by supporting your obsession with him or her by answering this question, I won't help you heal and move on.

I don't want to earn money this way. Instead, I am giving you my answer here, free of charge.

When someone asks me this question, it is unlikely they ask about their ex from the goodness of their heart.

When a relationship breakup still feels raw and painful, all you wish for is for the other to feel the same.

In fact, if you got dumped, or you finally freed yourself from a narcissist, all you can think of is cursing that individual and send all the ill will you can muster up their way.

But there is a more powerful and healing alternative: 

Learn to not give a shit about that person.

Don't care.

Learn to be indifferent.

Ignore them. No contact. Focus entirely on yourself and your recovery and healing.

This is a process, and you need to focus all your determination on this. 

While you are working on your personal growth, enjoying life and prepare yourself for new opportunities, consider my two answers to your question.

Is my ex happy?

1. Yes

He or she may have left you for someone else, so s/he will be elated. They will probably have great sex, and they may even get married and have kids. Happy-ever-after. 

Accept it. Get over it.

Would this answer make you feel any better? Probably not, so why keep torturing yourself?

It is now down to you to follow your own dreams and aspirations, to make the most of your life without forever pining for what you have lost. 

Your future is ahead, and you can choose, if your journey is miserable or fun.

2. No

They are as miserable and depressed as you are. They have had nothing but bad luck since your relationship ended. They now have doubts and wish they could get back together with you. 

Would this kind of answer encourage you to get in touch with them again? 

The last thing you want is a boomerang relationship that will prolong the agony over months, perhaps even years ahead.


Here's what you can do instead:

  • When it's over, accept it's over.
  • Rather than following your emotions, explore why your relationship didn't work out. There are some good reasons for it. Don't ignore them, and learn your lessons, so you won't make the same mistake again.
  • Engage into some serious self-care. Book yourself on a course, do yoga classes, re-connect with friends, rebuild your life.
  • Keep focusing your thoughts on yourself, and be committed to your well-being. Avoid any kind of drama, e.g. confrontations, stalking, trying to get answers, closure, etc. Just let go.
  • Embrace change. You can download my manifesting change healing cards for free.
  • Get creative - read, write, paint, craft. Get together with like-minded souls to learn and experience new skills.
  • Always remember the bad times you had with your ex, which were a reason you split up. 
  • Don't initiate any contact with your ex, and try not to fall for their soppy messages of remorse. Your mind is telling you that it's all a load of b**locks. Heed its advice and stay strong.

Most of all, don't obsess over your ex. Don't torture yourself with painful questions about their whereabouts or happiness. It's no longer your concern. 

You are the most important person in your life right now, together with family and friends, who are close and support you.

Trust that you will feel better soon, and you can heal and rebuild your life. 

Warmest wishes,

Christiane



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Monday, 30 May 2016

When Your Relationship Needs A Boost

page of cups tarot of quotes
Tarot of Quotes
"A relationship is a three-part journey: First there's infatuation. Then there's conflict – the part where most people jump ship. The third part is becoming an active participant in your partner's feelings, and that's the method to the madness."
- Alanis Morissette


This is one of my favourite quotes about how relationships work, and it is true that many people go their separate ways during the conflict phase.

Conflict doesn't necessarily mean heated arguments and slamming doors. Quite the opposite.

It is usually smouldering resentment towards the other's annoying habits and personality traits that drives couples apart.

Things are no longer the same as they were during the honeymoon period.

Complacency sets in. Masks begin to crumble.

Less quality time spent together due to work and other commitments. Your partner's irritability and lack of cooking skills annoys you. Less romance, less fun...perhaps no romance or fun at all...

Now is a good time to take stock and make amends.

The honeymoon period always ends, but there is much that can be done to keep the spark alive and move onwards to stage three. 

Although you are aware of the obvious reasons why you are not as happy together as you used to be, you can explore what is going on in your relationship on a deeper, unconscious level. 

Here is a five-card spread you can try:

1. What is the underlying current energy of the relationship?
2. What needs to be addressed?
3. What is going well?
4. What is being neglected?
5. What will improve the relationship?

when your relationship needs a boost
Cosmic Journaling Oracle
I have used the Cosmic Journaling Oracle for the sample reading:

1. Journey

There is a sense of longevity and unfulfilled potential. Look back and see how far you have come. Have you been on an eventful journey together? Did you have to deal with external challenges that put you both under stress?

You may now realise that you have encountered some bumps and steep hills along the road, and now it is time to focus more on enjoyable and exciting adventures that are still to come. Make some plans and make it happen.

2. Intention

This card suggests making plans, having a goal or simply paying more attention to each other's needs. Intention also means focus, making a conscious choice and seeing it through. However, it can also mean that intentions haven't been kept.

Perhaps a holiday was cancelled or you didn't go for that romantic meal after all. Even worse, your other half has started smoking again... Look at what you intended to do and why it didn't happen. Is there a pattern that needs to be broken? Talk about it.

3. Sensitivity

Sensitivity as a strength in a relationship offers the gift of empathy and mutual understanding. There is a keen awareness of how the other is feeling, but it is also important to open up and express your own feelings.

Sensitivity in this position may also suggest that your senses are not letting you down. Trust them, especially when you 'sense' that something isn't quite right and needs to be addressed.

Sensitivity may also remind you to choose your words and actions wisely and carefully in order to avoid unnecessary drama including hurt, anger and defensiveness.

4. Renewal

When renewal is being neglected, it suggests resistance to making changes, perhaps even denying responsibility. There are obstacles preventing you from moving forward, which may include challenging behavioural traits or external challenges like work or family commitments.

How can you encourage renewal in your relationship, so it can evolve? An additional question to ask the oracle!

5. Trust

If trust is an issue in your relationship, you will need to address it in order to make positive changes. You need to explore if your trust issues are justified or based on past experience or irrational worries.

This can also be an issue for your partner, who may not yet feel secure in your relationship.

The best way to build trust is by being totally reliable, open and honest. When you begin to realise that you can count on the other no matter what, this will be a huge step for you in the right direction.

Think about how you can improve mutual trust in your relationship. If you need some inspiration, pull another card.

I hope you will find this spread helpful, either for yourself or a person you are reading for. Please do let me know, how it's worked for you. 

If you would like me to do this reading for you, please choose the 5-card reading option on my Tarot Readings by Email page.

The Cosmic Journaling Oracle is also available as a digital edition with a 30% discount on the printed copy of the deck.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane



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Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Why Curiosity Is The New Black

why curiosity is the new black
Curiosity killed the cat... and satisfaction brought it back.
“Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what's on the other side?” - George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Do fears, low self-esteem and other self-imposed restrictions hold you back? Then you may be surprised to learn that developing and nurturing a curious mind can help you overcome these blocks.

As children we had no inhibitions when it came to expressing our creativity or exploring unknown places, but while growing up, we started to develop all kinds of insecurities and self-doubt, which have become so hard to shake off.

Curiosity is a surprisingly simple and useful tactic that will help you make some positive changes, and that's why I included it in the Cosmic Journaling Oracle.

Next time you are fearful of something, be curious instead.

Explore despite your fears. Express yourself and be curious about where it leads you.

Meet new people anyway, even if you fear rejection. Be curious about getting to know new folk.

Show off your art anyway, even if you think it's not good enough. Be curious about what people have to say. Even ask them for feedback. Wouldn't it be great to know what people think rather than making assumptions?

Curiosity in the Cosmic Journaling Oracle asks you to replace any blocks you have with a sense of wonder and the open mind of an explorer.

Explore new opportunities and experiences. Instead of No, say Yes. Why not?

When this card comes up in a reading, ask yourself:

  • When were you last curious about something? Did you ignore the feeling or embraced it to learn something new?
  • What do you need to be more curious about in your life? You could draw an additional card to find out.
  • How has curiosity affected you in childhood? How does it affect you as an adult?
  • Has curiosity at any time got you into danger? If yes, when and what's the story? How was it resolved? What did you learn from it?
Likewise, when this card comes up in a "what not to do" position, you may want to avoid being nosey, e.g. meddle in other people's issues that are none of your business. And curiosity isn't about being reckless, getting yourself into life danger or gamble all your life savings...

The Cosmic Journaling Oracle is now available as a digital edition together with a guidebook containing journaling sheets and other printable goodies. Learn more here.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane


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Learn Tarot - A magickal, inspirational tool for life
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Monday, 4 April 2016

Making Tarot Journaling More Fun

tarot journal page
From: Cosmic Faery's Journal Workbook
Who says keeping a diary or recording your tarot / oracle readings should be done on boring white paper?

There are more creative ways you can make your journal look exciting and inviting.

In order to make it easy for you taking the first step, I have created a wide range of journaling sheets for you to download for free and also to buy. Good news is that there will be many more on the way to cover all sorts of topics.

As you can see from the pics in this post, adding some colour and redesigning the writing space already makes a difference to help you think outside the box.

In addition, using different colour pens, your own doodles, stickers and printed card images you will make your journal truly unique.

There are many different journaling sheets available, for one-, two- and multi-card readings, daily/weekly reflections, gratitude lists etc.

cosmic journaling oracle digital edition
From: Cosmic Journaling Oracle
Digital Edition & Guidebook
The sheets are designed to be flexible; you can also use them to record your favourite quotes, things to do, books to read, films to watch, bucket lists and so much more.

And the best thing about downloads is you can print them again and again to feed your journaling habit.

My latest creation is the digital edition of the Cosmic Journaling Oracle, which comes with a guidebook including printable bonus material such as greeting cards, journaling sheets and cover pages.

The oracle deck has been specifically designed for journaling but also for divination.

Together with the guidebook you can use the cards for self-exploration while creating a unique record of your life journey.

All my printable products have been designed for paper lovers and those who would like to rediscover their passion for handwriting and the real feel of paper (rather than just keeping notes in the digital twilight zone on electronic devices).

cosmic journaling sheets
From my journaling workbook and the Cosmic Journaling Oracle guide
#cosmicjournaling on Instagram

I'd love to welcome you to the cosmic journaling club. You can make a start with my freebies, and please do let me know how you get on. You can buy my journaling ebooks here.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane



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Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Cosmic Journaling Oracle - Sensitivity

cosmic journaling oracle sensitivity
Cosmic Journaling Oracle
“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. 

To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. 

It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. 

There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. 

Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. 

Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”
- Anthon St. Maarten


What does sensitivity mean to you? 

Do you feel you need to grow a "thick skin" when people regard you as "highly strung"? 

Or do you embrace your sensitivity in order to stand your ground and take no shit?

Explore your life with the Cosmic Journaling Oracle

Enter the competition on my Facebook Page for a chance to win a copy of this deck.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane


Transform your life this year:

Tarot Readings - Insightful guidance when you need it
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Sunday, 6 March 2016

Balancing Darkness and Light

balancing darkness and light
I've succumbed to the new age fad of "adult colouring"
and found that surprisingly relaxing ;)
If you have been reading my blogs for a while, then you know that I am not a member of the "love 'n' light" brigade, constantly churning out sugar-coated new age sound bites about happiness, unconditional love and floating in a state of eternal bliss.

Far from it.

My writings and the work I do are based on my personal experiences of the darkness that exists in my life - endings, loss, bereavement, change, depression, anxiety, insecurities, illness, loneliness.

The love 'n' light brigade keeps telling me to "release" all those things, "let go" or even ignore, but that's easier said than done. How exactly do you "release" depression, feelings of loss or uncertainty?

In reality, dealing with these issues involves a lot of work, which includes acknowledging, facing and embracing the shadow in our lives. It also means admitting to it!

Even in nature, there is no sunlight without the casting of a shadow, no day without night. Light and dark both have a role to play in a holistic and sustainable kind of spirituality, which is the only way to initiate growth, healing and enlightenment (wisdom).

Of course, if you tend to be a pessimist and your thoughts keep revolving around negative aspects in your life, then it is wise to have a reminder once in a while to be more positive, hence "Today focus solely on the positive", a message from my Manifesting Change Cards.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of negativity when having to deal with major change and upheaval.

This card isn't about ignoring reality; it's just asking you to give yourself a break.

I pulled this card yesterday, and as a result I reminded myself of all the good stuff currently going on in my life. Also, the little things around me that give me pleasure.

I had a very productive and positive day, because I knew this wasn't about putting my head into the sand. And lo and behold, at midnight the spell was over, and I woke up early with fears of loneliness in old age....

You may be laughing now, or perhaps you understand. The point is, my spirituality is a mix of love 'n' light and doom 'n' gloom. For me, one can't exist without the other.

If some new age guru tells you to ignore all the shit in your life, then think again.

Denial and ignorance isn't the answer to your problems. There is much you can do to blend both aspects of your life in order to - perhaps paradoxically - be happier and more fulfilled.

Find creative outlets to confront your darkness. Reach out, help others. Divine possibilities and solutions. Your darkness after all may be your driving force to greatness. Use it as a fuel on your journey.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane


Transform your life this year: 

Tarot Readings - Insightful guidance when you need it
Learn Tarot - A magickal, inspirational tool for life
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Sunday, 14 February 2016

4 Reasons Why you Are Still Single

4 reasons why you are still single, love, cosmic journaling oracle
Cosmic Journaling Oracle
If you have been single for a while, chances are you wouldn't mind meeting that special someone to love and share your life with.

Unless of course you are totally happy with being single, then you don't need to read any further.

But if you do read on, then you might be wondering, why love seems to persistently elude you.

There can be many reasons, which you may be aware of, but sometimes it can also be down to your unconscious behaviour and state of mind that blocks you from attracting that fulfilling relationship you are dreaming of.

Here are some possibilities:

1. You are bitter and resentful about your past experiences

So many people experience a string of unhappy relationships, and after a while it either makes them start keeping 30 cats, or they become highly cynical about the whole love thang.

Unconsciously they begin to develop a kind of victim mentality, forever going on about how terribly they were hurt, and never wanting to be in that situation again.

If you fit into this category, then I know what you must be going through. I sadly haven't been immune to mistreatment either, but I advise you not to let these people rule the rest of your life in such a negative way.

Slowly you are building an impenetrable wall around you, and the only way you can pull it down again is by accepting what happened, learn from it, forgive those people, and then move on.


2. You are still clinging to your ex

If you are still hoping for your ex to return, then you won't attract anybody remotely suitable for you. That's because unconsciously you are not interested in long-term relationships but short-lived flings to fill the void.

You may also still be grieving for your broken relationship and may make some desperate choices for comfort, which you may later regret.

The best thing to do is accept that your ex is unlikely to come back and release that relationship mentally and emotionally. I know it is hard and it will take a while, but it will help you put closure on the past and open up to new opportunities.


3. You are waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect

The basic ingredients for a long-term relationship is mutual attraction, chemistry, trust and respect. It's also important that you share same interests (at least a few) and values. On that foundation you can develop long-term love and commitment.

But do they really have to have a university degree like you? Or have lots of money? Or a job that your parents (or your peers) approve of?

Whatever you are looking for in your next relationship, by all means make a priority list, but don't dismiss someone, only because they don't tick one of the ingredients on your wishlist.

Think carefully about what is most important to you, but don't make that list so long that it will be hard for anyone to fulfil.

Explore, where you could compromise and still make it work. This isn't about "settling" for second best but discovering the hidden gems in a potential relationship and the all-important give and take.


4. You are desperate

It's been so long since your last relationship that you have stopped discerning the wheat from the chaff, and you are looking at every man or woman you meet as a love potential.

This can make you act in strange ways, like getting too close to someone you talk to at a social event, drink too much, offer your phone number etc. without noticing that they are just not interested in you.

And when you do get the chance for another date, then you keep getting in touch with them too often, and basically on an unconscious level you just exude desperation, which sadly is terribly unattractive.

Cool down. Step back. Relax. There is a better way how you can attract love into your life without trying too hard.

That doesn't mean you have to crawl into a shell and stop socialising. Instead, enjoy meeting new people and see them as potential friends rather than anything more. This way you build your social network, and who knows, one of them might be rocking your boat at one point in the future.

faith cosmic journaling oracle
Cosmic Journaling Oracle
Always trust the process and know that love will come your way when you least expect it.

Questions you could ask the Tarot:

1. What blocks have I created that hinder me from finding new love?

2. How can I overcome them?

3. What else can I do over the next four weeks to invite new love into my life?

If you love using the Tarot to explore your love issues, then you may enjoy using my Tarot & Spirituality workbook containing some insightful spreads and activities for self-development and personal growth.

For more articles on love and relationship topics, click here.

And if you would like a reading for personal guidance, I am here for you.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane


Transform your life this year: 

Tarot Readings - Insightful guidance when you need it
Learn Tarot - A magickal, inspirational tool for life
Tarot eBooks - Great value, innovative Tarot study material

Make sure you subscribe to my feed to receive the latest articles straight into your inbox when published.

You can also connect with me on FacebookTwitterPinterestTumbr and Instagram.


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